COMPONENTS OF A HEALTHY MARRIAGE....

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT MARRIAGE ?

Marriage is a process by which two people make their relationship public or commitment to live their lives in a way that is recognized legally, considering it’s societal acceptance.

Marriage is the intimate union and equal partnership existing between two individuals of common cause and purpose.

Marriage is ideally an arrangement that is best exhibited between a man and a woman; precisely, with a man with male genital components and equally, a woman in possession of a female genital components.

Thus, logically describing Marriage as an exponent of cordiality between two mature mindsets.  

Marriage - is built on a deep knowledge of the word; “KINDNESS”.

Kindness can be expressed through various synonyms - as is the foundation, upon which a strong and healthy family is built.

SYNONYMS OF “KINDNESS”

Kindliness, kind-heartedness, warm-heartedness, tender-heartedness, goodwill, affectionateness, affection, warmth, gentleness, tenderness, concern, care

Consideration, considerateness, helpfulness, thoughtfulness, unselfishness, selflessness, altruism, compassion, sympathy, understanding, big-heartedness, benevolence, benignity, friendliness, neighbourliness, hospitality, amiability, courteousness, public-spiritedness

Generosity, magnanimity, indulgence, patience, tolerance, charitableness, graciousness, lenience, humaneness, mercifulness

Kind act, good deed, act of kindness, good turn, favor, act of assistance, service, help, aid

It is pertinent to exurb acts of“affectionate kindness” towards your spouse! Without kindness, your relationship will become soar.  

Do you know how much simple acts of thoughtful kindness can do in your marriage? Even just a mere thought of Kindness? Be it expressing acts of Kindness within a marital setting or even a mere platonic relationship which exists between colleagues, families, courtships and most especially, in marriages or parenting.

A random act of kindness can spontaneously transform your spouse’s life; it can be transmitted via metaphors of actions or inaction. Simply Love languages, like: “I Love you! – “I have been thinking about you all day at work” – “I am wondering how is he or she is coping with the home chores and office work load”

Kindness must be a societal expose – Be it a society of family oriented individuals – such as Father as Husbands, fiance or Mothers posing as fiances and wives. 

Kindness - can go a long way in your marriages and other causal or colossal relationships; and a simple kindness can change your marriage because “kindness is love”.  Kindness propels Love!

Wonder how you can show kindness and respect to your spouse? Have you ever thought of new ways and new lingoes to express Kindness to a fellow human being like you?

HOW TO SHOW KINDNESS TO YOUR SPOUSE 

1.       RESPECT

1.1     Be respectful! Showing acts of respect to one another, as always, is the silent stimulant of concretizing an atmosphere of Kindness. Respect, is mainly reciprocated with gestures of kindness…; which means, you should treat your spouse with respect and value, as much as you will treat yourself.

1.2    Endeavor to understand the love languages of one another in a unique, peculiar and appreciative way.

1.3   Avoid treating your spouse in a disrespectful manner. It depreciates and recapitulates intentional acts of respect and kindness towards you.

1.4    You should recognize that your spouse is an adult, not an infant or an inanimate object; and don’t put up acts of false or pretentious attitudes or kindness, only not just a way to get something you want out of them.

1.5   Mutual respect should not be taken for granted in any lasting relationship.

2.  VALUE ADDED INCENTIVES – “TRANSANCTIONAL LOVE”

2.1   Practice value added incentive in your relationships.  The caution here therefore, should be not to allow your values or principles of kindness to elope your foundations of unconditional Love. Examples, will be, you do not give your spouse a birthday gift or a mother’s day gift – simply because you expecting a favour in return from them. That is a value added incentive with a price tag, best described as a “Transactional Love” – Christopher O.G Aloysius

2.2     To create a healthy marriage is by practicing value added incentives such as: “gentleness”. Gentleness - is subtle, yet intentional way of honoring the free will of your partner or spouse, in other words, always value your spouse’s self-will, through an articulate spoken or body language of gentleness .

2.3    Do not take anyone you love with a denigrated form of insensitive and overwhelming disrespect. Always be in pursuit of a virtue that alienates unnecessary frictions between you and your loved ones – married couples especially. 

2.4    Treat your partners with most revered respect and affectionate care; do not assume they should be taken for granted because they value you more than they value themselves.  Again speaking about “Transactional Love”.

2.5    @NestSingles - "Transactional Love in Christianity, is nothing but paganism; do not transact your LOVE by engaging yourselves with mindless and uncompassionate futilities, you may end up at the receiving end with nothing"  - Christopher Aloysius

2.6     Similarly, as a parting and effective tool for exhibiting acts of kindness and gentleness; you-all need to practice the inculcation of lasting values that is geared towards appreciating our sexualities as well as Love lives, with a global sense of appraisal amongst every citizen of this world, whether you are a married couple or an existing human being on planet earth.  "The LOVE towards your neighbors, friends & family, should never be based on emotional transactions". Love is unconditional!  - Christopher Aloysius.

2.7     Tell your spouse something you appreciate about him or her… informing your spouse how much you love and appreciate them contributes to the wellness of your marriage. Appreciate your spouses, by being thankful of him or her for being part of your life. Celebrate them incessantly, preferably every day. Expressing gratitude can make all the difference in your marriage. 

2.8     Ask your spouse about his or her day and listen with keen interest to their causes and effects in the process.

2.9     Make it a habit to start your day with a good morning, a kiss and a hug; similarly, always end your day with good night kiss and a peak of affection after a stressful day.

2.10       Never go to bed without resolving heart related matters and concerns. Try also not going to bed angry, if it can be avoided with someone you truly love and respect.  Always ask your partner how their day went! “Like how was your day”? Asking them about their work day, can strengthen your marriage daily.

2.11       Always tell your spouse how much you love them… If you love someone you will tell them how much you feel about them, for your words can make positive impacts in the life of your spouse. You can also express how much you love them a through text messages or kind tweets.Erotic & unconditional love, with underlain acts of kindness and gentleness, is a true reflection of Love; also true love is the perfect definition of romance.

3.  ENCOURAGEMENT

3.1     Being encouraging…Always be that person that motivates and encourages your spouse, in season and out of season. Stop finding unnecessary faults in them; effortlessly endeavor to concomitantly applaud the rights about them, and not seeking for means and ways to picket on their wrongs.  Telling your spouse positive things can really motivate them, as against inundating them with negative comments.  

Finally, “Marriage is not a signal of success and achievement, there are some things you cannot possibly know about marriage until you are involved in one”.

One person’s love cannot sustain a successful marriage. It is a two sided approach!

Do not transact your Love life with a negative spouse; because, one person may be more expressive with affectionate love than the other; which does not necessarily translate into disaffectionate love!

Learn more about “transactional love” on Eagles Nest Singles, web blog page – https://eaglessinglesnest.wixsite.com/eaglesnest

For more questions and enquiries – do not hesitate to send me an email or simply subscribe to simply elegant weblog page below, or like our Face Book page “Elegance.  Thanks for the reading.

        .....ONYINYE EDITH 2018….

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